New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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