Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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