My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize