Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
