what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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