You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
