Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
