Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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