On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
