All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
