Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
