yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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