I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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