I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
