My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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