dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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