So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
