omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
