called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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