Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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