I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
