so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize