Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
