i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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