I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize