i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
