I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
