i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
