And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
