you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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