She is in my trunk
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it's like heaven, but drunker
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
