I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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