Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
