It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize