I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
