anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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