Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize