So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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