Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
