I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
