How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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