Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
