Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize