What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
