oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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