you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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