She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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