He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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