Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
