I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
