Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize