So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
