My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
