You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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