I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
