singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize