Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
